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Monsters Lurk in the Land of Assumption
Brian Kreeger • Sep 22, 2021
“Go with what you know.”
I’ll bet I have used that phrase a thousand times over the years as I have counseled people. And I could never count the number of times I have asked, “Do you really know that?”
Sounds so elementary, doesn’t it? But most of us assume regularly. Our minds like to assume things, and then run with scenarios around those things we assume. Seems like it is just part of human nature.
(This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at
briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book,
The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders.)
A trip to the Land of Assumption happens way too often in nonprofits, just like in every other facet of life. In a nonprofit the monsters that lie in wait in the Land of Assumption can really cause damage as they wreak havoc on otherwise solid relationships and organizations.
When we are judgmental without all the information, we typically find ourselves in the Land of Assumption. In the Land of Assumption, we find things that are accepted as true or as certain to happen, but without proof. And taking assumption as fact can lead us down the wrong path.
Henry Winkler (yes, The Fonz) said, “Assumptions are the termites of relationships.”
Shhhhhh….just between you and me, let’s sneak into the Land of Assumption and see what we find. Be very quiet so the monsters do not awaken.
-“The board made that decision because they want to see me fail.”
-“I'm sure they already know how to do that.”
-“The board isn’t engaged because they don’t care.”
-“They knew what I meant when I said that.”
-“My boss did that because they want to hold me back.”
-“They cut that from the budget because it is not important to them.”
-“They didn’t get that report done because they are not capable.”
-“They know how I feel about their work.”
Whoa, it is really scary in here! The assumptions are really flying. And look at the damage! Let’s get back to the office.
We have all heard or thought these types of comments in our workplace, at home, or in the meeting after the meeting in the parking lot.
How many of these assumptions do we actually know? I would presume very few.
And not only did we wander into the Land of Assumption, but we are assuming the motives of others, which is beyond dangerous.
The presumed motive a person comes up with can either be positive or negative. My experience has shown me that the assumption of motives is based more on the person making the assumption than on the person being judged. If the person making the motive assumption has a generally rosy view of life and people, they will judge the motive as positive and beneficial with good intentions. But if the person making the assumption has a sour outlook on life and people, they will likely judge the motive as negative, devious, and perhaps manipulative.
Instead of operating on assumption, Courageously Ask. Communicate. Just like in a healthy, long-term marriage, solid, transparent communication between a leader and their accountability structure is vital.
This isn’t always easy in this day and age, as we find ourselves beholden to the text message, email, and social media—communication that is easy to misconstrue and often fails to capture necessary context.
Many modern modes of communication simply cannot capture the many forms of nonverbal communication.
Albert Mehrabian, professor emeritus of psychology at UCLA, is known for his breakdown of human communication into the following: 7 percent spoken words, 38 percent tone of voice, and 55 percent body language. While some disagree on those numbers, it’s indisputable that nonverbal communication dominates verbal.
So if we are continually relying on modes of communication only containing words in written form, research shows we are missing a large majority of the message being communicated. When we miss a large majority of the communication, human nature typically sends us to the Land of Assumption where the monsters of tension, conflict, and uninformed decisions reside.
It doesn’t matter if there is conflict between the board and leader, if there is conflict among board members, or if there are assumptions among staff creating drama—increased communication to gain information almost always provides a ticket out of the Land of Assumption.
People, especially leaders, need to have the courage to ask the difficult questions. The answer to an unasked question could be the key to increased understanding and relationship. But we have to push aside the temptation to assume in order to ask the question. Without that answer, there could be increased drama that plants a seed of doubt in a leader or a board member. That seed could grow to accusations or maybe even a fall.
Sometimes we have to fight human nature and assume the best until we have all the facts. But we have to pay attention and Courageously Ask.
Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at
briankreeger.com. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My Story) of my book,
The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders.
Brian@briankreeger.com
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