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Properly Managed Expectations Can Prevent a Leadership Fall
Brian Kreeger 1:17 • August 5, 2021
Expectations are real. Expectations are needed. Expectations inspire. Expectations motivate.
Expectations within a nonprofit organization run the gamut, applying to a wide array of relationships: the board’s expectations of the executive, the executive’s expectations of the board, and expectations in the relationships between staff, volunteers, donors, and community.
Some expectations are very clearly documented, but there are many more that are unwritten and are based in human nature, tradition, and commonly held practices.
Because we all come from different backgrounds and traditions, the unwritten expectations sometimes lead us to the land of assumption.
When expectations are not clearly communicated, and sometimes can’t be, an executive will assume them, thereby creating a high level of pressure as they try to fulfill not only the communicated expectations but those that are assumed.
Difficulties arising from the land of assumption usually find their solution in increased communication.
Sometimes all of the factors that form the expectations of the executive—written expectations as well as those created through human nature, tradition, and commonly held practice—come together.
But too many times they come together without the thoughtful consideration of the board and those around the executive. An attitude of “this is the way we have always done it” takes the place of that thoughtful consideration.
(This article is the seventeenth in a series that focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my upcoming book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders.)
Allow me to give you an example in the life of an executive pastor. Some time back I attended Easter services with a friend in the next town. Although I knew people in this congregation and the pastor, I had never attended a service at this mainline denominational church.
After some small talk with people I knew, I entered the church and sat in a pew with my friend. As most visitors often do, I opened the bulletin to learn a little about the service and what was going on at the church. I opened the bulletin, and on the first page, I found this declaration in a box taking up almost half of the first page:
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PASTORAL SUPPORT AND VISITS
Rev. XXXXX is available twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week to provide you and your family with the spiritual support and
comfort needed during illness, accidents, hospitalizations, family emergencies, etc.
In order to ensure that Rev. XXXXX can provide pastoral support for emergencies on a timely basis, please call his home phone (xxx-xxx-xxxx)
rather than the pastor’s office phone. If you reach his phone mail, please leave your name, telephone number, and a brief message, and he
will return your call as quickly as possible. Rev. XXXXX will, in turn, notify the appropriate church member(s) regarding the specific situation.
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Sounds like exactly what you would expect a humble servant leader to say. This pastor clearly is laying down his life for Christ and is His ambassador here on earth. Isn’t this exactly what you would expect Jesus himself to say or do? In fact, I brought it home to my wife and she thought it was nice of them to put his home number in the bulletin.
Now, if I wasn’t reading this bulletin at the time of the writing of my book and this article I would have blown right by it. In fact, I probably would have been impressed, if I paid any attention at all. But I guess because I have been talking to Christian leaders for some time about what they are struggling with, this bold statement stopped me in my tracks. Immediately I started asking myself the following questions:
- Is this guy superhuman?
- What does his family think of this?
- Who wrote it?
- Did an unknowing church member write it?
- Is this really the expectation of him?
- Did he write it thinking that was the expectation of him?
Hmmm….
According to Pastoralcareinc.com:
- 78% of pastors report having their vacation and personal time interrupted with ministry duties or expectations,
- 84% of pastors feel they are on call 24/7,
- 80% of pastors believe their ministry has negatively affected their families,
- 65% of pastors feel their family lives in a glass house and fear they are not good enough to meet expectations, and
- 52% of pastors feel overworked and cannot meet their church’s unrealistic expectations.1
These few statistics clearly spell out the fact that pastors feel as if the expectations placed on them –by themselves or others- create pressures that make it difficult for them to maintain proper family relationships, and promote difficulties within themselves.
Each category of executive leadership in the nonprofit world has its own challenges, and being a pastor is no different. This example and listing of statistic can easily cross over to any Christian nonprofit executive.
So, let’s turn this around a little bit. We all know that Christian leadership is unique and that God strengthens those who act on His calling to the ministry. But Christian leaders are human beings too. Can you imagine if your vocation posted to all of the customers of your company that you were available 24/7? How would you react?
I eventually spoke to this particular executive leader about the bulletin. He had been in the ministry for about 40 years. In the beginning of our conversation he took a very sincere, noble approach. He told me that he wrote it, and that he and his wife knew of this expectation going in. He said that, for his age and for pastors from his era, the expectations are reasonable.
But, he said the differences in generations are big. He said that the younger men and women are drawing a line in the sand concerning personal time. He actually respects them for doing it and wishes he would have had the “gumption” to do it when he was younger. He went on to say, “This more principled approach to time allocation can only be good for the ministry, as the pastor’s family thrives through the protection of family time.”
As the interview went on, he discussed the many ways a congregation expects that all of his time is their time, and they tend to treat it as such. He told me stories of people stopping in his office without an appointment while he was working.
Now, he was sure to acknowledge the pastoral duty inherent in his vocation and was gracious in his descriptions. But there was no question that the expectations sometimes frustrated him.
This Easter experience and the interview that followed cemented in my mind that executive leaders desire to be a particular person, this ideal, to fulfill what they perceive as the expectations. This is very desirable and noble, but can be pressure packed and humanly frustrating.
Written expectations are known, accepted, and signed off on by both parties. It’s pretty easy.
But the unwritten expectations that come from human nature, tradition, and common practices create assumptions, which create undue pressure, sometimes driving the image an executive has of their job performance into the ground.
It is the job of the board to manage the expectations of the executive, sometimes even protecting them from unreasonable expectations from the board itself. The board can also go a long way in protecting them from others in the executive’s sphere of influence.
Communication of clearly laid out expectations, which would include written and unwritten expectations (to the best of the board's ability), is absolutely vital in the quest for a solid board-executive relationship.
The solidifying of this relationship by communicating clear and complete expectations will make a huge difference in proactively creating a culture that prevents a leadership fall.
One expectation that can create confusion, and sometimes friction, is the level of board engagement in the organization. This is an expectation that is rarely laid out clearly, thereby leading both the executive and the board to the land of assumption. I will be writing about board engagement in my next article.
1
“Statistics for Pastors.” Statistics in the Ministry. Accessed 5-1-21. https://www.pastoralcareinc.com/statistics/.
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briankreeger.com. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My Story) to my upcoming book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders.
Brian@briankreeger.com
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Executives -pastors or nonprofit executives in our context- are put on a pedestal. It’s not that the typical person necessarily believes they belong there or desires to put them there. But it is human nature that this happens. The general public often places much higher expectations on leaders than they do on themselves. Sometimes it is appropriate, and the leader has put themselves in that position. In some cases, it is simply scriptural. For instance, James 3 points out that those who teach will be judged more strictly, thereby heightening the expectations of those who lead and teach. But what about when we accept, and enact, those elevated expectations and forget the humanity of our leaders? Often a community heaps on a leader the expectation that they are to perform with the perfection of Jesus and not simply be a Jesus follower and disciple just like them, but with a unique calling and heightened responsibility. Too many times when a leader shows human imperfection, the respect we have for them is damaged. Leaders fall under strict judgment, and we forget they are no less fallible than us. The imperfection they have colors any positive experience we would have had with them otherwise. While most of us acknowledge this strict, hypocritical judgment and recognize it as not being how we want to treat our leaders, it is a difficult battle to fight in our own attitudes and minds. No matter who the leader is, they are not Jesus. But please allow me to reverently make some comparisons. (This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders. )
You are the community, no matter what formal role you play in a particular organization, or if you play any role at all. My blog articles typically focus on the roles the leader and the board have in preventing the fall of Christian nonprofit leaders. But I contend that the community that exists around organizational leaders and boards has a role as well. In fact, a community’s role can many times be much bigger. My next few blog articles will focus on the role of the community in preventing the fall of Christian nonprofit leaders. (This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders. )
