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The Perfect Leader
Brian Kreeger • October 21, 2021
The perfect nonprofit leader and the perfect organization do not exist.
Everyone will acknowledge that no one is perfect, including nonprofit leaders. But, I put this phrasing in the same group as “leaders are human.” While both are absolutely true, too many times they are abstract ideas in the minds of most people….until a person proves the phrase to be correct.
Every leader wants to do a fabulous job with excellence. They want their organization to be the one that sets the standard. But sometimes this is taken too far.
They want their organization to not just be excellent—they want it to be perfect.
Why? Two reasons: 1. Their deep-seated passion for the mission drives for it, plus they believe the recipients of that mission deserve it. 2. They believe this excellence, this perfection, is a direct reflection of them, and human nature tells them they want to be well thought of.
(This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders.)
Fear of not being perfect, and what it might bring, drives a leader many times. This can be used in a positive way, if managed and properly understood, by inspiring and pushing a leader to a higher level of excellence. It can be used negatively, usually subconsciously, in a way that causes a leader to expect way too much of themselves and those around them.
In fact, on a personal level, this sometimes drives a leader to not be themself, as I have written in previous articles.
Janet Britcher, in a 2018 article for Forbes, wrote that the leader’s own striving for perfection can interfere with learning, authenticity and transparency and sets up a perpetual source of stress because perfection can never be reached. The leader striving for perfection continually moves the goalposts.1
On a professional level, the drive for perfection by a leader may drive staff, volunteers, and supporters away when they realize they cannot achieve this unrealistic expectation.
As she discussed a particular executive, Janet Britcher described the cycle this way in her article: “She had a high turnover among her staff because she was demanding. She expected a lot of herself, worked long hours and felt exhausted. The harder she was on her staff, the less they tried and the more she worked.”2
Sometimes it is part of a person’s makeup, their personal human nature. In the context of these blog articles, it could also be created by the pressure of those around the leader, especially their accountability structure, constituency, or family and friends.
Atelophobia
is the fear of imperfection.
In her book Being Perfect, Anna Quindlen describes her experience with atelophobia as being “like carrying a backpack full of bricks.” She continues, “Oh, how I wanted to lay my burden down.”
She discusses how the “illusion of perfection (not being ourselves) requires work that is not portrayed to others.” In other words, we want people to think we are just naturally perfect, but hide the actions we take to create the illusion. The perfectionist wants to be like the proverbial duck in the water, who looks nice and calm as their legs are frantically paddling below the surface.
Quindlen also writes, “If you don’t lay your burden down you develop curvature of the spirit.” Most of us have seen this “curvature of the spirit” as we have watched leaders become miserable and burn out. They take it upon themselves to keep the organization at a certain level, trying to balance the needs of the organization with personal and family needs.
In a sobering thought for the “perfect leader” that comes from the book, Quindlen states, “Perfection implies a combination of rote and bloodlessness that is essentially made for machines, not men and women.”
Perfection is reserved for God and his manifestation in Jesus Christ.
People, you are neither. Leader, you are neither.
We need to stop expecting each other to be.
The desire for, and expectation of, perfection is just one of the many traps an executive can find themselves in.
When a perfection-seeking leader recognizes it is impossible for them and their organization to be perfect, they become discouraged. Discouragement looks for a pick-me-up, and sometimes that pick-me-up can lead to a fall.
Perfectionists beware.
Be Courageous.
Be Proactive.
1Janet Britcher, “Overcoming the Leadership Perfection Problem,” Forbes, October 9, 2018,
2Ibid
Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at
briankreeger.com. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My Story) of my book,
The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders.
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Executives -pastors or nonprofit executives in our context- are put on a pedestal. It’s not that the typical person necessarily believes they belong there or desires to put them there. But it is human nature that this happens. The general public often places much higher expectations on leaders than they do on themselves. Sometimes it is appropriate, and the leader has put themselves in that position. In some cases, it is simply scriptural. For instance, James 3 points out that those who teach will be judged more strictly, thereby heightening the expectations of those who lead and teach. But what about when we accept, and enact, those elevated expectations and forget the humanity of our leaders? Often a community heaps on a leader the expectation that they are to perform with the perfection of Jesus and not simply be a Jesus follower and disciple just like them, but with a unique calling and heightened responsibility. Too many times when a leader shows human imperfection, the respect we have for them is damaged. Leaders fall under strict judgment, and we forget they are no less fallible than us. The imperfection they have colors any positive experience we would have had with them otherwise. While most of us acknowledge this strict, hypocritical judgment and recognize it as not being how we want to treat our leaders, it is a difficult battle to fight in our own attitudes and minds. No matter who the leader is, they are not Jesus. But please allow me to reverently make some comparisons. (This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders. )
You are the community, no matter what formal role you play in a particular organization, or if you play any role at all. My blog articles typically focus on the roles the leader and the board have in preventing the fall of Christian nonprofit leaders. But I contend that the community that exists around organizational leaders and boards has a role as well. In fact, a community’s role can many times be much bigger. My next few blog articles will focus on the role of the community in preventing the fall of Christian nonprofit leaders. (This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders. )
