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Executive Leaders Do Not Have to Feel Alone
Brian Kreeger • Aug 18, 2022
A change in perspective can be very encouraging for a nonprofit leader. Many times that change comes from observing colleagues, or a conscious effort to gain that perspective from others.
And this loneliness and isolation does not only exist in the nonprofit world.
I spent most of my adult career managing grocery stores while I also worked in various ministries.
It was not an easy job, and I was sometimes discouraged. Although I knew I was a good store manager, there were always things that made me doubt myself and my performance.
I was alone at the top of the store, so I really had no one with whom to discuss my issues. Sure, I could talk to my district manager or call other store managers to talk, but that rarely happened because my pride would not allow it. What would they think of me if they knew I was struggling inside?
(This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit
This time in my life provided me with an excellent learning experience concerning loneliness and isolation—an experience that would naturally translate into the nonprofit world.
I didn’t want the others to think I was anything less than Superman when it came to performing my job. Plus, we all knew there was an underlying competition among us to see who the best was.
It didn’t matter what the measured parameter may have been: payroll, sales, HR issues, merchandising and supply chain, or health inspections. We wanted to be the best.
I had to keep up the facade of having everything under control, even when I didn’t. Struggles had to stay bottled up inside. Pile on top of that the everyday grind of having a target on my back as I tried to balance the needs of the associates with the requirements of the company. It wasn’t an easy task and could be very disheartening.
My wife and I found ourselves in a decent spot financially, so we decided to start a business. Recognizing that it would take a few months to iron things out concerning the new business, I gave notice in October that I would be leaving the company during the first week of January. This would allow me to stay during the very busy holiday season.
The company did a wise thing: they removed me from the store I was managing and sent me to stores that needed help during that busy time of year. I would be sort of a co-manager in these stores. What I saw while I worked in these other stores totally changed the way I viewed my job and my performance.
What I saw were the same issues I was having in my own store.
The same HR issues: every store had some employees that weren’t up to snuff and challenged the management on every point. Every store was struggling to make sales and payroll budgets. Every store struggled to follow the company’s merchandising plans and had complaints about supply chain. Every store struggled to impact and articulate the importance of keeping food safety at the top of the agenda. Every store!
The most eye-opening thing I saw in nearly every store was how every store manager felt overwhelmed by it all. Every store manager felt like they were on an island. Nearly every store manager felt lonely, and felt like they were failing.
I had experienced what they were experiencing, so I related well with them. They were able to bounce things off me in a natural, vulnerable way because I was their equal, but I was leaving. All of this somehow made them feel like they were not alone at the top at that particular time, which was comforting for them.
For me, a tremendous weight was removed from my shoulders as I realized I was not alone; others were dealing with the same challenges. I was not a failure. I was not Superman, but neither was anyone else.
Honestly, while I was going through those couple months, I almost decided to stay with the company. I was so relieved, and my confidence was restored.
I have yet to talk to a leader of an organization who does not list loneliness and isolation at the top of their professional challenges. These are truly the biggest challenges that can lead to a fall.
Many times, this can only be relieved by discussing the experiences of other executives and recognizing you are not truly alone in your struggles. It can be quite comforting.
You see, when you open up to a colleague about the struggles you may be dealing with you are giving them a sort of “permission” to do the same.
Starting a nonprofit is hard.
Leading it can be just as hard. It is lonely. It can cut you to your very core and make you question who you truly are. I knew that others had to be dealing with the same things I was, and in the same way I was in my previous job.
I started holding regular meetings with three to five nonprofit leaders so we could share and build each other up. I strongly encouraged vulnerability and stripping the facades. Too many times when leaders get together for “group share,” what they limit their sharing to is the successes in their work or organization. Leaders need to get beyond the façade that everyone knows they are wearing.
This also encouraged unity of the body, as we all worked with an evangelistic mission. We even went so far as to start sitting on each other’s boards of directors to encourage that unity. We all agreed that this helped us, and many of those relationships are still strong today.
But what stops us
from reaching out to other leaders? Pride? Fear?
Sometimes the struggle of the executive is getting out of their own way.
We need to be true friends with other leaders, beyond the business of running nonprofits. You may be the savior to a fellow leader that is about to fall.
This is the executive’s opportunity to be the leader among leaders.
That leader among leaders just might be you.
Be Courageous!
Be Proactive!
Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at
briankreeger.com. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My Story) of my book,
The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders.
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Executives -pastors or nonprofit executives in our context- are put on a pedestal. It’s not that the typical person necessarily believes they belong there or desires to put them there. But it is human nature that this happens. The general public often places much higher expectations on leaders than they do on themselves. Sometimes it is appropriate, and the leader has put themselves in that position. In some cases, it is simply scriptural. For instance, James 3 points out that those who teach will be judged more strictly, thereby heightening the expectations of those who lead and teach. But what about when we accept, and enact, those elevated expectations and forget the humanity of our leaders? Often a community heaps on a leader the expectation that they are to perform with the perfection of Jesus and not simply be a Jesus follower and disciple just like them, but with a unique calling and heightened responsibility. Too many times when a leader shows human imperfection, the respect we have for them is damaged. Leaders fall under strict judgment, and we forget they are no less fallible than us. The imperfection they have colors any positive experience we would have had with them otherwise. While most of us acknowledge this strict, hypocritical judgment and recognize it as not being how we want to treat our leaders, it is a difficult battle to fight in our own attitudes and minds. No matter who the leader is, they are not Jesus. But please allow me to reverently make some comparisons. (This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders. )
You are the community, no matter what formal role you play in a particular organization, or if you play any role at all. My blog articles typically focus on the roles the leader and the board have in preventing the fall of Christian nonprofit leaders. But I contend that the community that exists around organizational leaders and boards has a role as well. In fact, a community’s role can many times be much bigger. My next few blog articles will focus on the role of the community in preventing the fall of Christian nonprofit leaders. (This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders. )
