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The Hard Truth for the Fallen Christian Nonprofit Leader
Brian Kreeger • Jun 30, 2022
Remember the scene in the movie
A Few Good Men when Kaffey (Tom Cruise) is in a heated exchange with Jessep (Jack Nicholson) about Marines always obeying orders they are given by their superiors? Kaffey bobs and weaves with Jessep, but in the end Jessep is forced to pull back and say these words: “Sometimes men take matters into their own hands, son.”
All of my writings are written with the intent of preventing the fall of Christian nonprofit leaders, something that is way too prevalent in today’s society. The unfortunate part is that there are a small number who will continue down the path to their leadership destruction. Despite all they do, despite all their accountability structure does, despite all that the community does, they will “take matters into their own hands.”
With this in mind, I am going to start dropping blocks of articles in that will help readers understand roles “after the fall.” Unfortunately, they will happen.
This article is written to the fallen Christian leader, but everyone will gain a better understanding of what is happening in the mind of the fallen leader and how they can support them through the legitimate consequences of their fall.
(This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at
briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book,
The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders.)
Fallen leader, it hurts. And it’s hard to shake that hurt. It doesn’t matter if what happened was self-inflicted, inflicted by others, or at what ratio, it hurts. You have risked the deepest part of your soul and laid your life out there for all to see, and something went awry.
The same sets of eyes that looked on you with admiration during your high point now seem to look on you with disgust at your low point. Paranoia sets in. Not only are you feeling all eyes upon you and what happened, but the disappointment in yourself is unbearable.
What you are feeling is real—hopelessness, despair, disappointment, shame, loneliness, and uselessness. You are crushed. Your thoughts are confused, and you can’t think straight.
All of this makes you want to run away, to pack everything up and go. Or maybe even more drastic measures.
There is one question
that every Christian leader who has taken a fall needs to ask, and quickly: How long until I give up? The answer to that question is the way out. You will eventually give up and surrender. How long it takes will determine the amount of collateral damage, how much damage to yourself is inflicted, and how long it will take everyone to recover, including yourself.
How long are you going to defend what happened and try to make people understand why it happened? How long are you going to keep giving yourself a pass on what happened, even if you don’t express it openly?
The answers to all of these questions determine the amount of torment you are going to live with. For me, after my own personal fall, the daily torment was multiplied when I laid my head on the pillow at night. The torment did not stop until I got to the end of myself and tapped into God’s supernatural power. I had to get out of my own way.
You are the offender
in the eyes of those you have hurt, and need to be held to account. This accounting, along with the accompanying consequences are, in most cases, entirely legitimate.
But, fallen leader, you have a unique role to play when it comes to their true forgiveness of you. Ultimately, it is between them and God, but you can help.
The easiest thing for you to do, but the least profitable, is to sit back and blame them for their unforgiving spirit. The fact is, the choice you are making to not forgive them is one of the causes of torment I described earlier.
My writings are written with the humanness of the leader at the forefront. Well, now it is time for you to take that same grace and mercy you expect from everyone else and apply it back to them. They are no more perfect than you are.
I continually write about individual accountability. Well, now it is time for you to focus on God and your accountability to Him. Let me remind you: He loves you. He desires to forgive you. He has boundless grace and mercy for you. He knew the whole time you were going to do what you did and loved you anyway, no different than the trials of many biblical heroes like David and Peter. Now it’s time to turn to Him. It’s time to stop focusing on those around you and focus on your relationship with God.
I have lived through this fire, and I know it’s ugly.
That’s the hard truth.
You can choose individual accountability. You can choose to give up your pride and protection of self. You can choose to follow God’s way. You can choose to draw a line and stop the collateral damage. You can choose reconciliation and restoration. But you must choose.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. There is a Promised Land. There is plenty of room for encouragement.
Pastor Rick Warren said, “Other people are going to find healing in your wounds. Your greatest life messages and your most effective ministry will come out of your deepest hurts.”
You can do it. But first you must choose.
Be Courageous!
Be Proactive!
Next week I will write about some of the external and internal actions that must be taken after you choose. (All can also be found in more detail in my book).
Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at
briankreeger.com. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My Story) of my book,
The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders.
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Executives -pastors or nonprofit executives in our context- are put on a pedestal. It’s not that the typical person necessarily believes they belong there or desires to put them there. But it is human nature that this happens. The general public often places much higher expectations on leaders than they do on themselves. Sometimes it is appropriate, and the leader has put themselves in that position. In some cases, it is simply scriptural. For instance, James 3 points out that those who teach will be judged more strictly, thereby heightening the expectations of those who lead and teach. But what about when we accept, and enact, those elevated expectations and forget the humanity of our leaders? Often a community heaps on a leader the expectation that they are to perform with the perfection of Jesus and not simply be a Jesus follower and disciple just like them, but with a unique calling and heightened responsibility. Too many times when a leader shows human imperfection, the respect we have for them is damaged. Leaders fall under strict judgment, and we forget they are no less fallible than us. The imperfection they have colors any positive experience we would have had with them otherwise. While most of us acknowledge this strict, hypocritical judgment and recognize it as not being how we want to treat our leaders, it is a difficult battle to fight in our own attitudes and minds. No matter who the leader is, they are not Jesus. But please allow me to reverently make some comparisons. (This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders. )
You are the community, no matter what formal role you play in a particular organization, or if you play any role at all. My blog articles typically focus on the roles the leader and the board have in preventing the fall of Christian nonprofit leaders. But I contend that the community that exists around organizational leaders and boards has a role as well. In fact, a community’s role can many times be much bigger. My next few blog articles will focus on the role of the community in preventing the fall of Christian nonprofit leaders. (This blog focuses on starting a conversation centered on preventing the fall of nonprofit leaders. I write it from a Christian perspective, but all leaders will benefit. Be sure to sign up to receive these articles via email every Tuesday at briankreeger.com as well as taking a look at previous blog articles. In addition to receiving these articles two days before they hit social media, you will receive the article "5 Early Indicators of a Christian Nonprofit Leadership Fall" along with the Contents, Introduction and the Appendix (My story) of my book, The Courageous Ask: A Proactive Approach to Prevent the Fall of Christian Nonprofit Leaders. )
